Saturday, September 27, 2008

I begin this blog with Mindless Blabbering ..

Hello everyone!

How’ve you been? :)

Everybody’s been asking me as to why I haven’t been posting for so long…

Well.. I just did not have any energy, motivation, inspiration .. to write!

Dunno why. Dunno How. Life just seems so bland. Lifeless, actually.

Although, there is a good news: I have begun working on a Live Project ( for the ignorant, that’s a project with a company which you work on, along with your course- this one was totally unanticipated and initially my friend and I tried our best to avoid it, coz it lacked promise… but now I am really indebted to god (and Ananta, my Lady Santa- who pushed us to take it up! :D) for this. I am lucky enough to be in really good company (my favourit-est batchmate ), and though we haven’t added much value so far *if anything, we have only SUBTRACTED it from that office :D* .. the time spent is rather fun!)

By the way, beat this: I missed two classes today, just coz I ASSUMED there were none scheduled. Why, you ask?

Well, methought= Saturday, isn’t it! (so what, if we have never HAD a Saturday off in the past several months)..!!

Sometimes I think I must see a shrink.

At other times, I yawn at that idea too. Like I do at everything else.

Oh, and there was another bomb blast today, in a market very close to where I live. These people more than disgust me. Although, now one has seen the bad-in-mankind from such close quarters that, nothing moves you MUCH.

[Errrm .. try walking in a corridoor with one of ur batchmates, n see another one (foe-of-the-first) pass, flexing their muscles in a pronounced threatening sort of way. You know what I mean? Beyond grievances.

Plain Spitefully dangerous.]

And JKR has stopped writing :-/

And I dun get Zee Café/ Star World – can’t watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S

And I donot get any real mental stimulation out of anything I do in 24 hours in the day. Conversations seem so repetitively mundane, out of touch with reality, and have ceased to be engrossing. Smiling seems to be a reflex, rather than an emotion.

I have been getting more-than-ample amount of sleep though! Which is goooooood!

:D

Trying to make sense of where to take my life again.

By the way … get this: I searched on orkut and there is this community there :

Indian Mujaheedin- Description: This community is for those who are dedicated to spread terror in countries like India, China and Pakistan.

:O

Shouldn’t orkut take cognizance of such activities?

Weird, na! ..

*Munni – our domestic help, walks in: “Shruti Dii.. ‘Bigg Bosss’ aa rahi hai ..ab toh khana khane aa jao please” *

Hahaha !

What has my life been reduced to! ..

I live from one episode of big boss to the next! :P

Her tone was kinda threatening though …

Need to make a move. I think she has started not-liking me these days… although I was her favourite court jester earlier .. :) She told me I brought ‘Laughter into the house’ .. :D :D gee! .. how I love her :P

But now, my messy ways ..ill timed meals .. etc etc just seem to have made her life so miserable, that she probably thinks I’m not worth the pain :-/

*sigh*

Okay, that’s di yelling again… Dunno what Rahul Mahajan (one of the inmates in the house)has done this time! ..

Gottto rush, catch up on the Gossip! :D :D ..

You guyz have fun … God bless you all :)

Psst.. the post below is one I had half -written days back.. m posting it anyway ... tho it ain't much of read ....

It is 1:07 A.M. And I am not very sleepy (yay!). Just finished off my PCMM Assignments and submitted those to the Prof. with a note of apology and explanation..

(errr… Both the assignments are way beyond deadline, and submitted as individual ones – when it was supposed to be groupwork) *long story* :D

We have an end-of-term break going on, you know ..

Hell, how WOULD you know! … Coz even for me, it’s hard to tell! :-(

Doesn’t feel like a break at all! .. Work, Work, and more work it is :-/

Assignments- undone, half-done, done without any good reason, done sans passion or competence, done beyond deadlines, done at the expense of break-time!

More Work- Some supposed data collection, an old long-forgotten drudgery work for some prof’s research..some boring lecture videos to watch, to work on its content (completely unanticipated, uninvited, unearned work!)

The very FIRST day of the break began with a visit to the Office.. where a friend and I are going to invest the next 2.5 months – college hours .. more drudgery work .. the saving grace is that the project seems much more interesting and meaty than it had sounded earlier, and at least, I have real good company :-)

The only ‘break’ time in the past 6 days of the supposed holiday .. (err.. make it ‘so-called’, so called holiday!.. u know, how I hate clichéd terms like this one … “so called” *yuck*.. I wish to hit the writer/ speaker bang on the head everytime they use it, for supposed (or ‘SO CALLED’ ;) ) special effects/ impact on the audience…. Aaaargh! :P .. the cherry on the cake is when they use air-quotes to go with the ‘so-called’… ! really reallllllllly …! … )

Anyway, back to the point :O ..

The only real ‘break’ I have had in the past 6 days was the 1.5 days spent at my favorite relatives’; sadly, the anticipated fun there too, was butchered rather brutally, with the news of the serial Blasts the same evening (and at locations very close to our own!) - which markedly lowered our spirits and zest for our Shruti-is-on-a-break celebration :-(

I have been intending to do this place really well. Nicely.

This is like my den. And I plan to design it, furnish it, define it! :-)

There is so much that I wish to do. But I just can’t find the time for it. Every long post is followed by a sense of guilt! Coz it always seems to have eaten into some prospective ‘constructive’ usage of time.

I guess there comes a point in your life, where you just cannot choose what you wish to do with your time. And you end up investing all your day, in work that doesn’t stimulate you. Or, with people, who think you belong in a museum.. And, who you think just escaped one on probation! :D

Sometimes I feel my life is not my own anymore. Well, it’s such a common feeling, I know. These moments are not rare at all; quite normal for everyone. But this time, these moments are becoming the norm with me- rather than an exception!

I get this feeling – that I have lost ownership of my life, more often than I feel otherwise. Which is funny, coz in many ways, this is less true than it was some time ago. Though in different ways, and for different reasons.

I donot belong here. And the reasons in favour of this statement far outweigh those against it.

And I will stop typing mindlessly and incoherently, right here!

Nopes, not out of consideration for your sentiments and time, my readers, but Coz even I got bored talking like this, now :D ..


10 comments:

Arps said...

:/
Poor you!!!

Ronald Weasley said...

And congratulations You!! :D .. for
Whatever it is that u "WON" :)

Cheeeeerios! :-)

Meggs said...

:O

:)

Things will get better. Or less worse.. Whichever the situation permits.

Sumeet said...

Hey,, cudnt get time to post a comment,, so plz accept my late entry...
First of all thank you for giving a small space to me on ur blog,,,

On to ur blog now,,seems that,, things are a bit dull at ur end and u r not liking the daily routine work,, tht u r forced to do,,
Saw u today reading smthing,, in th canteen:P ...wo bhi khana khate samay,,"kabhi to ek jagah dhyan diya karo :P":),, but i think thts,, good,, in a way... tht keeps u engrossed in ur work,, but u know what personally i feel u are too much surrounded by just ur self-(i might be wrong,, in what i had observed for th past few days,,). Y dont u try some thing new and funny,, -hw bout ur chen commynity again sitting together to burst into laughter,, chen songs, ads, or nything of the kind,,,(u can start tht:)...or may b u r continuing with it ,, nd i m nt aware of,,so discount me on that,,
I am nt at all able to write for th past few weeks,,nw so nothing new post frm my side,,
but u keep posting,, all the best! :D

Deepak Agrawal said...

well, i guess this post reinforces ur view about shutting the earlier blog coz of 'impulse emotional outburst'!! :) You win!! :P

Deepak Agrawal said...

and ya, i noticed something on 'ownership of my life' which made me remember the beadutiful union bank of india ad currently being aired with the tagline 'kyunki aapke sapne sirf aapke nahi'!!
i know it has no bearing to ur comment, but i guess it qualifies into 'mindless blabbering' on my part!! :P

Ronald Weasley said...

@ Meggs,

:D things are okay I guess .. I tend to crib a lot .. seems to be built into my system .. :D

Thx :)

Ronald Weasley said...

@ Sumeet,

arrrey it's okay ... I guess all of us have become pretty lax towards our blogging .. even I dun feel like writing ...let it come naturally :)
n yeah ..things are kinda dull. Tho it's good in a way- i wud certainly not want the 'Action' of the previous months :D .... besides, time spent away from college at the project is kinda fun .. at least 4 now ...
n yeah .. I am back to being with myself .. and that's helping me a lot .. that's what i am happiest with .. :D - btw: i ws reading Reader's Digest in canteen the other day :P ...
abt the chen stuff... oh gaawd .. how i miss those gatherings .. wish we wud have one of those sessions one of these days .. count me in!! .. :D :D
thx! .. :)

Ronald Weasley said...

@Deepak,

:D well, no comments on the 'impulse emotional outburst' bit ....let it rest..
*humble n modest in victory* :P
Haww... what kind of Ad propagates that idea .. I hate these cynics :-/
they shud take it off air .. :P
Although, feel absolutely free to indulge in mindless blabbering in this space ... Eccentri-city (ref. the url :D) is the Land of Liberty, Equality and Fraternity :D
all u readers are the lucky Chosen ones, speak on :)
ok, al cut the drama .. thx for dropping by ...cheers!

vagabond dreamer said...

:( :) :D