The Blood(less) War

Ooops … after ages!

Yes. After. Ages.

Rebel No. 1 and Rebel No.2 played with fireworks- an unanticipated, heated argument, which began at the dining table .. over dessert, and ended within 20 minutes flat. A very cold, deafening silence-after-the-war ..you know .. to which even the neutral parties (other members of the family – An uncle, and aunt and a sister) could not respond with a cool, “ooohkayy.. so, moving over .. ”, faking a jovial atmosphere.

In their heart of hearts, Uncle and Aunt are both naturally biased towards the Younger Rebel/Combatant (Y.C). Well, not only coz Y.C is more vulnerable, n pity evoking.. but well, to be honest and fair, Y.C has a fair and valid point! Uncle finally passes some remark, trying to thaw the tension in the air. A feeble attempt. Y.C gives an appreciative nod of head. Elder Combatant, at his My-Way-Or-The-Highway best, does not react/ register this interjection.

Aunt pipes in again, siding with the Y.C – (seizing the opportunity to settle her own scores with the elder one), pressing with rational arguments, in the favor of the former. Y.C stops her mid-way. Shaking with rage-cum-hurt-cum-helplessness inwardly, and trying to maintain a poise and dignified calm, she brushes aside aunt’s helpful interjection, “Let it go. The matter ends.”

Aunt does not relent. She keeps talking. Her arguments now assuming the tone of accusatory remarks at E.C, from being defensive ones for Y.C.

(‘God, please stop her’, Y.C prays inwardly ..going weak shuddering inside; much as E.C was unfair, and wrong, and needed to see her reason, she is petrified at the prospect of things going worse. No more provocation, please!)

Oh, did I mention, the Sister meanwhile, (in a way, Combatant no.3 & team-mate of the Y.C, gives even more inflammable inputs- luckily, Y.C’s louder, n E.C does not register or respond to the Sister. Yeah, trust me. LUCKILY. Lucky for the sister I mean. It wouldn’t have been a pretty sight :-O :-/ )

Finally, Y.C, Aunt, Uncle and sister strike up a very fake-ly casual, light-hearted conversation. [Y.C is still sharing the couch with E.C (straight faced- royally poised, the jovial, playful -warmth that had adorned it just half-an-hour ago, drained off his face :-( ), and she is nervously conscious of the movement of every single muscle in her body- aware that she has done enough dangerous flexing of her vocal ones today :-( Playing with fire is okay …, Children. As long as you don’t make it a beyond-burnol- case.

After a few minutes, Y.C excuses herself to ‘check her mails’ (heck, everyone knows she is escaping the post-war-battlefield, n nothing more!). Goes to the computer room. Aunt follows her in a while. ( Still mumbling the same arguments in the kid’s favor.) Uncle follows a bit later. They get back to their exploration of MS Office 2007, and watching some interesting videos. And as is wont to happen in any discussion between the pair, invariably, Indian Vedic tradition concepts surface from somewhere.

And a few minutes later, they hear some not-hostile discussion from outside (combatant No. 3, and E.C are now on ‘talking terms’, apparently. Y.C heaves a sigh of relief. Does not know why. Anything better than deafening silence, she thinks!)

The House is divided into two camps again. One: inside, in the computer room. The other, outside, in the living room. The chatter of the laughterhouse now replaced by the silence of a Commando Camp.

*Y.C leaves all to fate. Positive that things will get back to normal some day, for sure. They always do. D’oh! Our dynamics is like The Titanic sailing forward, dodging icebreaks. It’s always a close call to a catastrophe. But we never hit the berg!- touchwood! :D*

Y.C gets a phone call. And she is in her less-than-pleasant moods right now. (Trauma Victims take time getting out of the ‘mental phase’, right?)

However, she manages. Uncle, Aunt both take a break from their camp, move out of the room. Suddenly, E.C walking towards the computer room. Oops… Awkward, awkward.. she can’t stand this, no! Run away, her inner voice implores with her. She swiftly hangs up.

E.C pronouncedly walks over to the refrigerator outside, takes out a bottle and leaves. What an anticlimax!

Y.C alone in the Computer Room again. Uncle notices. Returns. Aunt advises hitting the bed. Y.C complies, though, she needs to work for some time, she insists. Everyone gives her warm looks, half good night hugs. She opens up her laptop and starts typing a blogpost. No no, she does have other real work to do! But right now, this is all she is capable of doing. It is kinda cathartic too.

Sis walks in with a congratulatory, mischievous, proud smile, “that was some heated argument huh.. ” . To Y.C it sounded like, “Neat attempt at belling our CAT.” Oh yeah, it was almost heroic, wasn’t it :P

Even as she types, some of the bits of The Crossfire cross her mind..

Some things about extremism… sitting in judgment… maneuvering behavior … intentions … mindset… social conditioning… ritualistic behaviour… gosh what not!!

She wonders how soon the Ceasefire shall be silently declared, this time. A warm one, that is.

Life is all haa haa hee hee - that kinds.

Does she regret Today’s War?

Not at all. The cause was justified. Even though it was always a lost cause, she knows.

Could it have been done differently?

Maybe. Certainly, she knows what she did not-right that put E.C on the wrong foot. Although, she tried her best to adopt the best approach. But it ain’t easy. Not where E.C is concerned.

Does she like E.C any less?

No.

She is certainly mad at him, once again. Old memories of silently protesting and crying in her personal notebook after such face-offs between the two, come alive.

Didn’t she once have to learn to “Change a Lightbulb” the hard way, coz of him, one day? To guard her pride, and hurt her bruised ego- she wouldn’t take his help. After having blown off the lamp in her room, one night before her university exams, she had famously declared that she would “rather study in candlelight, than beg him to fix a new lightbulb in the lamp.”

But well, the smiles, the cheer, the blessings, the anchor she has earned from him far outweigh every single tear, every single frown, every scary momentary-skip-of-heartbeat :)

What the heck, HB. You drive me mad. Grossly unfair, unreasonable, and oh-soo-rage-evoking sometimes!

But I will forgive you. Yet again. Forgive? Okay, not really, ‘forgive’- coz I really can’t afford to! But I’ll just let this pass. Again. Coz … well, you are the only H.B we have. And the major hiccups notwithstanding, you are just

toooo precious a treasure to lose :-)

And I’ll pray for you, even if I cannot tell you this for the rest of my life (err.. given that every such Heated Discussion leaves me wondering if this will be the last time we ever talk). I’ll watch out for your well-being. I’ll want you to smile forever and always. And tell you about my smiles and cheer.

Just as I know you would, for me.

I am positively MAD at you right now. As I know, are you.

Waitaminnit .. aren’t all of our Wars a result of this contradiction? That we CARE. Care enough to almost impose upon the other, what we think is a ‘better’ take on life. Coz we wan’t the best, and nothing less than that for each other.

And I’ll wait for sun to shine again. I’ll wait for the new dawn.

So finally, this is how I cover this elder brother of mine, a post which should have ideally been under the “Brothers” section of my blog, along with the others I had covered on Rakhi. And on a much more pleasant note, I had hoped :(

However, this is how it was meant to be. Sigh.

Am back home now.

BTW: I had slept last night, typing the above post. Sister told me in the morning that the topic of conversation between E.C and her last night was ME :O – and will you believe it, they were discussing my childhood stories … !

Hmm..not bad. The War was not as bloody as it had appeared then.

Emotions rule :D God Bless memories :)

Anywho, We packed & left early next morning, and the Silent phase is on again.

Dunno how long it will last, this time ..

Whatever E.C … For you, a thousand times over :)